Unanswered prayers

September 26, 2023

Unanswered prayers

It was a really good week! Here are a few quick fun updates for you all!

Elder Packer came back! So, now I’m in a trio and it is an absolute blast. It’s so good to have him back!
We did some finding back in my old area and saw some old friends!
Had a fun member meal on Sunday with some way cool people (The Choo’s). We had hotpot which is my fav!
We had our district activity which was super fun. We played pickleball and painted this drawer thing haha! It was an absolute blast!
We had interviews this week and it was awesome! Sister Crankshaw (the Mission President’s wife) gives the BEST trainings!

Well, now you're all updated! I hope that the past little bit has been good for you too! God has been extra generous to me lately (He always is, but I think I just noticed more over the past two weeks). I still have challenges, trials, my heart is still cracked a little bit, depression, anxiety, and all the other fun things that are part of this mortal experience. But God has helped me to have just the strength I need to continue forward. I feel like I’ve noticed that when I especially ask for the Savior’s atoning power, I have enough power to overcome/confront my challenges. Just a cool little thought and something I’ve been grateful for this past little bit:)

Anywho, I wanted to share a scripture with you all today. It’s something I NEVER noticed before while reading, and it just really struck me this last time. So, if everyone will flip open their Book of Mormon and go to 2 Nephi, Chapter 5. Before we start, let's get a little bit of background. Nephi’s dad, Lehi, was a prophet and an amazing man! He had taken his family out from a wicked city and into the unknown. It's because of Lehi’s faith that we are able to read these records (scriptures) today! He was crucial to God’s plan of having the Book of Mormon come forth in this time! In 2 Nephi, Chapter 4, Lehi gives some counsel to his kids and grandkids shorty before he passes away. Importantly, after Lehi passes away, the prophetic mantle falls to his son Nephi, who has always been an amazing son, but now also has the responsibility of being the prophet and leader.

So, in 2 Nephi, Chapter 5, we start the account of Nephi as prophet. Starting in verse 1, we read that Nephi has a pretty big problem. He writes, “Behold, it came to pass that I, Nephi, did cry much unto the Lord my God, because of the anger of my brethren.” His father passes away and he’s having some way big family problems! His older brothers are now kind of rising up in rebellion against him. And so, what does Nephi do? He turns to the Lord in prayer! This is no average prayer... he says he did “cry much unto the Lord my God”. This is the sincere heartfelt prayer of a younger brother who just wants his family to be united. He would (and has) done anything and everything for his brothers. So, now we can go on to verse 2. Right after Nephi has said this mighty prayer, what happens? “BUT behold, their anger did INCREASE against me, insomuch that they did SEEK TO TAKE AWAY MY LIFE.” Well, I'm betting that wasn’t the answer he was looking for haha! Goodness, can you imagine being Nephi?! He has just gone and cried to the Lord, pleading for help. He finishes his prayer, and then finds out that the people he just prayed for not only still hate him, they want to KILL him!

The Book of Mormon was only able to include so much. Imagine etching a story into gold plates... that’s gotta be some tough work! Furthermore, when Mormon compiled all of these different records and stories, he could only select so many to go inside this book. Out of all the precious things that could have been selected, why would this story of Nephi's prayer be included? This is sincere, heartfelt prayer that reaps no reward... that seemingly gets rejected by heaven. I want you to think for a second, just like I did when I read this, why would this need to be included in the Book of Mormon?

Well, let me give you my opinion… Prayers don’t always get answered! That’s the cold hard truth! One of my mom's favorite songs is called. “Unanswered Prayers” by Garth Brooks. I love the lyrics. He says, “Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs. That just because He doesn’t answer, doesn’t mean He don’t care. Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” Woah! How much do those lyrics rock?! I wish I could have shared this song with Nephi, he would have loved it!

You, me, Nephi, and everyone else will all have some unanswered prayers. But never for one second doubt that God loves you any less than infinitely! There have been MANY prayers I have said in my life that have been answered and unanswered. I can tell you that in high school, there were moments I was consumed in my depression. I can remember sitting in the back row of our high school auditorium cutting my arms with house key, texting a suicide hotline just so I could have someone to talk to, wondering how much worse could life get. Afterwards, I would often drive to the Mount Timpanogos temple and, in tears, cry to Heavenly Father for any escape. Hour after hour, night after night, I would cry to Heavenly Father for ONE answered prayer, for any miracle, for any divine intervention. I can look back now and see many tender mercies that were sent my way. But I will tell you all right now, THERE WAS NO IMMEDIATE PERFECT RELIEF!!! Why in the world would it be easy for us if it was NEVER easy for our Savior, who had to bear all of our burdens?! At that time I remember thinking that Heaven had put a lid over me, my prayers were just coming right back down. Now, years later, I say with the utmost gratitude for my Heavenly Father, I am so grateful He didn’t answer those prayers. I am grateful that, despite His almighty power and complete capability to deliver me from all pain, He chose to instead let me suffer. I cannot even imagine how much it hurt Him to watch me! But He loved me enough to let those prayers go unanswered. Because of it, I have an entire new level of empathy for all those who struggle with those feelings. I was able to seek help from amazing therapists and psychologists. My relationship grew so extremely close with my family, especially my parents. I learned what was most important to me in life. I got the SMALLEST idea of what the Savior felt when He took upon Himself all the pains of the world. I am who I am because of those experiences.

Later, I had many other prayers answered. I found my best friend (Seany Boy), I had the coolest friend group, I got a scholarship I had hoped and dreamed of, etc etc! I have had many, many prayers answered, but many not. I have prayed for months for certain blessings that have not come. That seemingly come right back. Man, I have just wanted those prayers to be answered! But they haven’t been. And although right now I don’t entirely understand, I know one day I will. Back to Nephi... he honestly doesn’t ever find out why his prayer wasn’t answered. His brothers always hate him. Some prayers we’ll find why’s for on earth, and some will come in the next life.

I want you all to know I have a testimony of unanswered prayers. I am HONORED to join right next to Nephi in the group of people who have had prayers go completely unanswered (and even the opposite direction). I know that God is working all things for our good. I know God hates to see us sad, and it pains Him, but He loves us enough to let us grow, no matter how painful the process. I know that I don’t need to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Goodness, I am still searching haha. Sometimes our tunnels are just brutal! But I genuinely don’t need to see the light at the end of the tunnel and do you know why? Because my Savior’s right next to me. He’s my light, He’ll light my way a couple steps at a time and that’s perfectly okay with me:)

I love you all! In the wise words of Elder Holland, “If for a second the harder you try the harder it gets, take heart, so it has been with the best people who have ever lived!”

Have an amazing week!!!

Love your neighborhood Elder,
Elder Luke Steadman 司长老