"Stars can't shine without darkness"
I'll be honest with you all, this last little bit has been really, really tough. I have had (and still have) lots and lots of feelings of confusion, grief, sadness, hopelessness, loneliness, pain, etc.
I won't lie, these feelings have been really difficult for me, and I could use all the prayers you can send! If you're struggling with faith, feeling down, struggling in any way... let's unite together and help each other out;)
A question I get asked lots on the mission is, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I have often replied to such questions with the answer of, well everyone has their agency and so crappy things just happen. I have told people that if we rely on God we can truly get through anything. Whenever I answered their questions in the past, I was genuine and meant what I said. But I'll be honest, this question has taken on a whole new meaning for me lately.
Recently, it sort of felt like my world got flipped upside down and I was pretty blindsided by it all. It hasn't helped that, besides the fact of things getting flipped upside down, this has been a pretty low point of my mission and life. You're probably thinking, "Wow, this is an incredibly depressed missionary and an incredibly depressing email," and if you're thinking that, I don't blame you haha! But hold on just a little longer, give me a chance!
My point is, lately I have had this question on my mind lots! Why do crappy things happen to people who aren't perfect, but trying? Why do those who are doing what God has asked them still have trials? These, and many other questions have flown through my mind.
Right now, my answer to this question is a little bit different than what I have told people in the past, and it's a question I am still asking myself and still looking for more answers. But part of my answer is this, we all have a cross we need to bear. The Savior was the perfect person (the only perfect person), and He was no exception to this same truth of everyone needing to bear their own personal cross. He knows rejection and sadness all too well. His best friend, whom he loved and had chosen, ultimately betrayed him for some pocket change. He was perfect and was still sentenced to death. The fact of the matter is, we are all in a fallen world, which comes with lots of downsides.
A quote I have often told others and am now applying to myself is this: "Stars can't shine without darkness." So, it is necessary that we have these dark moments in our lives! Of course, I wish I could choose what the darkness comes from. It sadly doesn't work like that. But the truth is, without the darkness, we aren't able to shine, and if it feels like the darkness grows, just know that one day you will have an opportunity to look back and see the stars shining all the more profoundly.
So if you feel like Lehi, who followed an angel in his dream, only to then be left in a dark and dreary wilderness for hours with no response (1 Nephi 8:5-8). Or if you feel like the Prophet Joseph Smith, who questioned, "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place? How long shall thy hand be stayed" (D&C 121:1-6). Or if you have even felt like the Prince of Peace Himself, our Savior and Redeemer when he cried: "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?... My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46). Lastly, if you even have felt a little like me, heartbroken, down on your luck with flickering faith, I'd ask you to take courage. Hold on to what you have. I'm right there grabbing on tight with you! Feel hope in the words which this Old Testament Prophet spoke when he said "Therefore I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me. ... when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me. ... he will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold his righteousness." (Micah 7:7-9).
The Morning will come, it always does. The sun will rise right after the darkest hours of the night. Lehi was eventually shown and tasted of the Pure Love of God, Joseph Smith was reassured shortly that he would be exalted on high (D&C 121:7-8), and Jesus Christ Himself rose on the 3rd day, a glorified resurrected being, An High Priest of good things to come (Hebrews 9:11). God won't abandon us, He never has. So if it feels like the windows of heaven are closed, bear down, hold to the faith you have, hold to those who truly love you, and focus on the Savior, who walked the loneliest path of all.
I am so unbelievably grateful for the support of my family during these tough times, as well as some amazing friends:) They have been angels on earth to me!
This Church is true. It is lead by Jesus Christ himself, who still to this day continues to communicate with Prophets. The Book of Mormon is true. God is good. He loves us. If you're struggling, hold on until you can feel of His love again and go help those who are needing to feel His love. I know these things to be true. God is among us.
In the name of our Savior and Redeemer, our Friend and Big Brother, even Jesus Christ, Amen.
With Love,
Elder Steadman (司勇诚)
I won't lie, these feelings have been really difficult for me, and I could use all the prayers you can send! If you're struggling with faith, feeling down, struggling in any way... let's unite together and help each other out;)
A question I get asked lots on the mission is, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I have often replied to such questions with the answer of, well everyone has their agency and so crappy things just happen. I have told people that if we rely on God we can truly get through anything. Whenever I answered their questions in the past, I was genuine and meant what I said. But I'll be honest, this question has taken on a whole new meaning for me lately.
Recently, it sort of felt like my world got flipped upside down and I was pretty blindsided by it all. It hasn't helped that, besides the fact of things getting flipped upside down, this has been a pretty low point of my mission and life. You're probably thinking, "Wow, this is an incredibly depressed missionary and an incredibly depressing email," and if you're thinking that, I don't blame you haha! But hold on just a little longer, give me a chance!
My point is, lately I have had this question on my mind lots! Why do crappy things happen to people who aren't perfect, but trying? Why do those who are doing what God has asked them still have trials? These, and many other questions have flown through my mind.
Right now, my answer to this question is a little bit different than what I have told people in the past, and it's a question I am still asking myself and still looking for more answers. But part of my answer is this, we all have a cross we need to bear. The Savior was the perfect person (the only perfect person), and He was no exception to this same truth of everyone needing to bear their own personal cross. He knows rejection and sadness all too well. His best friend, whom he loved and had chosen, ultimately betrayed him for some pocket change. He was perfect and was still sentenced to death. The fact of the matter is, we are all in a fallen world, which comes with lots of downsides.
A quote I have often told others and am now applying to myself is this: "Stars can't shine without darkness." So, it is necessary that we have these dark moments in our lives! Of course, I wish I could choose what the darkness comes from. It sadly doesn't work like that. But the truth is, without the darkness, we aren't able to shine, and if it feels like the darkness grows, just know that one day you will have an opportunity to look back and see the stars shining all the more profoundly.
So if you feel like Lehi, who followed an angel in his dream, only to then be left in a dark and dreary wilderness for hours with no response (1 Nephi 8:5-8). Or if you feel like the Prophet Joseph Smith, who questioned, "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place? How long shall thy hand be stayed" (D&C 121:1-6). Or if you have even felt like the Prince of Peace Himself, our Savior and Redeemer when he cried: "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?... My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46). Lastly, if you even have felt a little like me, heartbroken, down on your luck with flickering faith, I'd ask you to take courage. Hold on to what you have. I'm right there grabbing on tight with you! Feel hope in the words which this Old Testament Prophet spoke when he said "Therefore I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me. ... when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me. ... he will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold his righteousness." (Micah 7:7-9).
The Morning will come, it always does. The sun will rise right after the darkest hours of the night. Lehi was eventually shown and tasted of the Pure Love of God, Joseph Smith was reassured shortly that he would be exalted on high (D&C 121:7-8), and Jesus Christ Himself rose on the 3rd day, a glorified resurrected being, An High Priest of good things to come (Hebrews 9:11). God won't abandon us, He never has. So if it feels like the windows of heaven are closed, bear down, hold to the faith you have, hold to those who truly love you, and focus on the Savior, who walked the loneliest path of all.
I am so unbelievably grateful for the support of my family during these tough times, as well as some amazing friends:) They have been angels on earth to me!
This Church is true. It is lead by Jesus Christ himself, who still to this day continues to communicate with Prophets. The Book of Mormon is true. God is good. He loves us. If you're struggling, hold on until you can feel of His love again and go help those who are needing to feel His love. I know these things to be true. God is among us.
In the name of our Savior and Redeemer, our Friend and Big Brother, even Jesus Christ, Amen.
With Love,
Elder Steadman (司勇诚)
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| Elder Hofheins, Luke's trainer, completed his mission |
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| Making the rounds to say his goodbyes |
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| The Chinese elders... and then there were 3 |
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| Meet Luke's new (English-speaking) comp... Elder Christensen |
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| Loving puzzles these days |
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